More Oops

Got gas?

The pilot of a single engine Cirrus SR-22 aircraft that ran out of fuel is safe after ditching his aircraft 253 miles northeast of Maui, Hawaii Sunday. At approximately 4:44 p.m. the pilot was able to deploy the aircraft’s airframe parachute system and safely exit the aircraft into a life raft. U.S. Coast Guard video.

Finish Line

So there we were. 6 Epics and their meat baggage stuck in Petropavlovsk Russia just a short hop across the Bering Sea from the motherland and the weather in our first fuel stop was crap. The small island of Adak Alaska was forecasting low clouds and rain all day and seeing that it is located in a rather inhospitable location as far as alternates go we decided that discretion was indeed the better part of valor. In other words we ran away. Back to Magadan we went. Yes I know it was the wrong way and yes I know we’d just been there the day before. But when we pulled out the big map thingy we noticed that it was almost 100 miles closer to Nome Alaska than Petro and was just inside our collective comfort zone as far as range goes.

Now you might notice that our flight path took us almost directly over Anadar (a fuel stop I’ve used and mentioned before) but unfortunately it was closed for some unknown reason. The flight to Magadan was uneventful except for the low clouds and visibility, the autopilot malfunctioning forcing the owner I was flying with to hand fly the approach (which he was unprepared for and did poorly), the mountains surrounding the airport, and the non-existent approach control. aside from all that, it was just another flight. After a quick turnaround (4 hours) we were off to Nome Alaska. I won’t bore you with the details of that leg because with the smoking tailwind we had the issue of making land before running out of fuel was never in doubt. In fact we had so much gas left when we arrived in Nome we could’ve made it to Anchorage without stopping. But we did (more time wasted on the ground fueling 6 planes) It was 1:30 in the morning by this time so there was no reason not to keep going right? Off to Anchorage we went, finishing our long day at about 3:30 am. That was a long one.

The next day Pete and I flew down to southern California to drop off 2 of our crew, then to Utah to pick up Pete’s girlfriend, and then finally to Jackson Hole Wyoming where we were forced to spend yet another night in a Four Seasons Hotel. (damn it all!) And finally it was the last day. A short 3 hour flight to Oshkosh Wisconsin where we were greeted by dozens of adoring fans. OK, maybe just one dozen but it was still pretty cool.

Wrap It Up Already

OK,OK, sorry for the delay in finishing the Epic World Tour report but (wait for it) I’ve been busy. Yes I know I’ve used that lame excuse many times in the past when I’ve been too lazy to finish what I started (blog posts, home improvement projects, books, college degrees) but this time it’s really true, I swear.

So because it’s currently raining cats and dogs outside (where else?) and it looks like I just might have my first day off from the drop zone since I got back from the around the world trip on July 29, holy cow that’s 45 days of work in a row! And that doesn’t include the 3 week trip around the world, which even though was an amazing adventure and I would have gladly paid to be on, was still work. And add to that the many days of work in a row I put in before the trip makes it about 3 months since I haven’t jumped out of, flight planned,worked on, or flown an airplane. I guess you could say I’m current. And a little burnt out.

So where was I? Oh yes Stuck in Petro Russia looking at crappy weather in Adak Alaska and trying to figure out how to get that motley crew of Epics back to the good old USA.

Wait……..what?  I have been informed by she who must be obeyed that as long as I have a day off we need to go to our rental house and do some of the work that I’ve been putting off all summer. Apparently my wife doesn’t know the meaning of “day off”

Sorry, I’ll finish the Epic story soon……I promise.

Still Flying

Day 9.

St. Petersburg to Moscow is a quick 2 hour flight. Once there we met Vladislav the owner of the Russian airline S7, and the chief sponsor of our little jaunt. Vlad invited us to another big celebratory dinner at the Four Seasons where we would get to meet some high mucky mucks of his company and 2 Russian Air Force test pilots. But first we got to visit his airline’s training center for to play with two of his 12 million dollar full motion flight simulators. And a right good time we had of it too. When it was my turn for the simulator I was fortunate enough to have with me in the cockpit three other professional pilots who’d been hired to keep the aircraft owners out of trouble. These guys are some of the best, most experienced pilots in the world and the four of us had a combined flight time of over 37,000 hours. So as each of took turns being Captain and co-pilot we handled each emergency situation with a calm, precise and professional manner that impressed the system immensely. Not. The four of us did nothing but screw around, rolling the big Boeing on final, buzzing the down town next to the airport, messing with the speed breaks of the guy trying to land and generally goofing off. Miraculously only one of us crashed (twice) and while my captain was backing up the big jet after landing by leaving the revers thrusters on after coming to a stop I jammed on the breaks to see if I could put us on our tail. I was successful and the simulator reared up and made a crunching noise. It was hilarious. That night at what felt like our 100th big fancy dinner party the C.E.O. of Epic announced that instead of getting up early and flying the next morning, we’d take the day off and enjoy another day in Moscow. There was much rejoicing.

Day 10.

With no official events or duties this day I joined up with another pro pilot and did a little sight seeing around Moscow with the highlight being my visit to the armory in the Kremlin. My wingman for the day was a retired Navy Captain, callsign Eagle. Eagle is and amazing character and I use the term character on purpose because even though he’s 73 years old, flew dozens of combat missions in Vietnam, ejected twice, and was the former commander of the aircraft carrier America Eagle is still a kid at heart and hilarious practical joker.

Day 11.

As you know there are many sayings that are true in life, “No good deed goes unpunished” “Never pet a burning dog” “Payback’s a bitch” and “ TANSTAAFL” “There’s No Such Thing As A Free Lunch”

In order to make up for our day off in Moscow and get back on schedule we put in an epic day of flying. We flew 4 long legs across Russia spending over 8 hours in the air and crossing 5 time zones and ending up in Irkutsk. With the time zone changes and flight time it ended up being a 15 hour day. There were some tired pilots at the end but we were back on track.

Day 12.

A short one leg day to Yakutsk. Nothing special to report.

Day 13.

The first leg was to Magadan Russia where they parked all 6 Epics on a super rough taxiway and fueled us from an ancient fuel truck that had to be a leftover from the old Soviet Union daysThe next leg of the day was to Petropavlovsk. Also known as “Petro” for obvious reasons. The approach and Arrival into Petro was amazing with beautiful scenery all around and 2 active volcanos towering over the runways. There was also a ton of Russian Air Force iron scattered all over the airport. Fighters, transports, and were parked everywhere and even though they looked like they hadn’t flown in forever we soon saw one of those helicopters with the twin counter rotating rotors fly by followed by a big twin tailed fighter (Mig 25?) roaring off the runway leaving a trail of thick black smoke. It was almost like they wanted to prove to us that they could still put something in the air.

That night we once again went to dinner as a group, sitting at a long table passing dishes filled with local delicacies including tons of caviar. Our plan for the next day’s flying was to head to Adak Alaska, stop for fuel and then blast off for Anchorage but when we checked the weather Adak was forecast to have low ceilings and visibility. That was a problem because they didn’t have a precision approach into the airport and the island sits so far out at sea that there is no alternate airport available if you run into to trouble and have to divert. It was looking like we might have our first no-fly day due to weather.

World Tour Update #?

I’m doing the best I can with posting but this trip is kicking my butt. The internet is pretty spotty in a lot of places so I’ve been falling behind. Here’s something to tide you all over for now.

Day 7

Early morning slot times out of Italy mean early morning wakeup calls at the hotel. At least for those of us on the Epic World Tour that hadn’t had the foresight to rent a Lamborghini and were forced to ride the short bus to the airport.

We had another beautiful day for flying ahead us with clear skies on our departure from sunny Italy and only broken clouds and rain showers forecast for our arrival in Prague. Thankfully the clouds only covered the first half of the Alps so we got a good view of the mountains that were best crossed by plane rather than elephant. Once again the 6 Epics were spread out in trail only this time we were all at 27,000 rather than in staggered altitudes. This normally wouldn’t have been a big deal or even worth mentioning but the conditions were such that the Epic’s were leaving contrails and seeing that we were all flying on the same airways using the same GPS we all got the treat of flying through the contrail of the plane in front of us. Now I’m not saying that any of us did anything unprofessional like going off autopilot and weaving back and forth through those crisp white lines in the sky, but I’m not saying we didn’t either.

The descent and landing into Prague was uneventful and we were treated to what every IFR rated pilot loves to see, a nicely lit up runway appearing out of the gloom. There’s just something satisfying about making a successful approach in bad weather and seeing the runway pop out in front of you. After landing we were treated to another, ummm, “treat”. Ground control parked all 6 Epic’s quite a ways from the terminal and we were all towed to the ramp while still sitting inside. I guess that’s one way to do it. Especially if you want to be able to add a towing charge to each plane’s bill.

Prague was amazing. We did a walking tour in the rain and learned all about the history of medieval Prague and if you’re interested, you can find all kinds of information on the subject, somewhere else. The next morning we met the owner of the glider company Blanik who took us out to a local airfield and treated us all to a free glider ride! The day was a blast. Everyone got to go up for a 20 minute ride and if aerobatics were your thing you definitely got a hell of a ride. I’d been watching the three pilots who were giving the rides, trying to get the best one, and finally made my choice. He was an older guy, with a belly that looked like it wouldn’t fit in the tight cockpit, but after watching him do low level loops, rolls, and hammerheads I knew that he was the guy for me. We got towed to altitude by a gangly looking tail dragger that sat on two unusually main landing gear struts called a Wilga. I’d told the interrupter that all I wanted to do was aerobatics so once we released the tow line it was game on. We did loops that pulled 3-4 Gs on the bottom, rolls where all the loose dirt and grass in the cockpit fell into the canopy and almost zero airspeed hammerheads. The topper of the ride was the series of loops that ended with a hammerhead at only 600 feet at the top. He pointed the nose vertically at the ground just off the end of the hangers and then proceeded to buzz the flight line about 3 feet off the grass before pulling up and entering down wind. It’s been a long time since I’ve had that much fun! One thing that really struck me was just how well the glider maintained it’s energy. We’d do a maneuver and end up losing very little altitude. It was amazing. We were the last flight of the day so the glider pilot ended our flight by landing on the grass taxiway and rolling all the way up to the hanger, coming to a stop only feet from another glider. What a pro.

We topped the day off with another fancy dinner with the owner of the company and lots of distinguished guests. It was another Epic day.

Day 8.

We left Prague behind and headed northeast to St. Petersburg Russia. One again we got lucky with the weather and didn’t have anything more than a few light rain showers to deal with. It was a short flight (they all are in the Epic LT) with only one little hiccup. As each Epic got within 25 miles of the airport they all lost the GPS signal in their panel mounted Garmin G1000. Losing the GPS isn’t, or shouldn’t, be anything approaching an emergency but in this particular system if you lose the GPS signal th4e auto pilot doesn’t work and that means………hand flying!!!!!!! BUMM! BUMM! BUMM! Now, personally, I love hand flying, especially approaches. I don’t get to fly enough approaches as it is and I’m sure as hell not going to give any away to the damn autopilot. That’s MY approach! But these days I’m in the minority. Most pilots with glass cockpits couple the approach to the auto pilot and let the machine do the work. And that’s all fine and dandy until the autopilot breaks or the GPS craps out, like today. Then the pilot is forced to move the controls with his hands and feet, like a savage. Interestingly, my ipad’s GPS held the signal far longer than the panel mounted Garmin that had a hard wired antenna. We all got the GPS signal back just before landing leading us to speculate that for some reason the evil Russians were messing with the signal on purpose. Damn commies.

Once we got on the ground we got another treat. Apparently when the CEO of Epic, who was flying one of the six planes, squawked about the outrageous fees the handling company was going to charge us the company decided to show us who’s boss by leaving us stuck out on the ramp for two hours before fueling our planes and giving us a ride to the terminal. This treatment really pissed us off and when the owner of Epic found out what happened he was furious. And when a Russian, who also happened to be the owner of one of the biggest airlines in Russia, and a billionaire, gets mad heads will roll. Apparently the guy who made the call to disrespect us is now looking for a new job. The delay at the airport put us behind schedule so we only got to see the second half of the Russian/cassock dance show they took us to. Oh darn. Don’t get me wrong, it was cool seeing them doing their traditional dances but we were all so tired most of us slept through at least some of it.

The next day we took a hydrofoil up the river to Peter the Great’s palace and took the grand tour then had a bus tour of St. Petersburg. And of no evening on this trip would be complete without an amazing dinner and too much wine. It’s been a rough trip so far but somebody has to do it.

Epic World Tour Day 6

Day 6 was a non-flying day that we spent enjoying Italy. Most of us walked around some and hung around the pool drinking ans talking smart. One couple rented a Lamborghini and spent the day terrorizing the local villagers. He told me that he got it up to 170 mph at one point and seeing him zoom past me at one point I believe him. I tried to get a picture but the whole fast cars and point and shoot camera thing doesn’t work so good.

Epic World Tour Day 5

After a wonderful breakfast overlooking the beautiful english countryside, skipped, because I slept in, the Epic crew and I manned our aircraft and departed for Italy. I was once again impressed with the Epic’s speed when we crossed the French coastline only 30 minutes after departure. The weather guessers had warned us of a line of thunderstorms and possible icing over the Alps so we all had our war faces on and were ready for battle. While we’d been looking at the radar during our morning brief we’d discussed the possibility of diverting east of the storms but seeing that it would add at least an hour to our flight time no one wanted to do that. It also might have something to do with the fact that we were heading to sunny Italy and had lunch reservations at some high class restaurant on the water that nobody wanted to miss.

The reported tops of he thunderstorms were 28,000 feet, which was our assigned flight level so we were expecting either a smooth ride or lots of bumps. My plane was in the number two position today and after number one reported deviating around a large build up I knew we were in for a rough ride. Of course I was wrong. By the time we got to where the big storm ahead of me was supposed to be, it had been blown down wind and we had a smooth ride and sunshine all the way down to the Med. Gotta love it when a plan comes together.

I could go on and on about how beautiful Portofineo Italy is but I’ll let my pictures do the talking. It’s that whole thousand words thing you know.


In case you didn’t know, flying around the world on an Epic World our is kind of a busy job so I hope you’ll excuse me when I get behind in my posting. So to keep you all off my back for another few hours here’s the link to the Epic LT company website where you will find more and better updates than a mere pilot can conjure up.

Check out the official trip information at for all the latest! And never mind if it looks like I’m about three days behind the trip in my posting. It’s because I am. Expect worse in russia!