Fake news

Pilot crashes an incredible 148 times in a row during one simulator session! Has license revoked and is now looking for the number of that truck driving school he saw on TV.

Maybe I could be a truck driver. You got the number of that truck-driving school?

What do you do with a few days off from the tough and demanding job of flying rich people around the country in a kickass jet? Why go over to your friend’s house and spend the weekend flying the simulator he built in his basement of course.

Way back in the day when I was just starting to work on getting my instrument rating I’d go over to my friend’s house and the two of us would spend hours and hours flying practice instrument approaches on his old Amega computer. It had a tiny black and white screen, a super basic joystick, and graphics that were just slightly more advanced than stick figures. But it worked well for practicing flying on instruments and navigation.

Over the years he’s continued to improve on his first system and now he’s got something that’s simply amazing sitting in his basement. It’s got dual controls complete with rudder pedals, a center console with radios, gear and flap levers, and a full instrument panel, and a multi engine power quadrant. It has a huge database that allows you fly approaches anywhere in the world. He also has it hooked up to the internet so you can fly in the actual real time weather conditions at whatever airport you’re landing at. It’s amazing.

He also has a helicopter set up that he invented that he says is about 90 percent accurate. And he should know seeing that he spent 35 years flying helicopters in the Army.

We started out the session flying CRJ midsize passenger jets. You start out at the ramp, get pushed back, start engines, get clearance, taxi to the runway, and take off. It’s all very realistic and even has an internet connection so you can fly in actual real time weather conditions. But flying jets in and out of big airports is what I do all the time so I moved onto flying the UH-60 Blackhawk, and F-18 Super Hornet. Which is where the trouble began.

You it’s hard enough to attempt and hover a helicopter or land a high performance jet on an aircraft carrier when you’re in peak condition. It’s even more difficult (dang near impossible) after a significant amount of adult beverages. Lots of fun though. Good thing I didn’t have to pay for all that twisted metal.

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