Squawks

Number one son came home from school today and told me that I really needed to get the power steering fixed on his Jeep already.  When pressed for details, it seems that for the last week the Jeep’s turning mechanism had been steadily failing, to the point of not really working so good, at all.   Since I’d been in North Carolina flying for the last week, I asked him when would I have had the time to look at his Jeep.  Oh, and seeing that this was the first I’d heard about it, how did he expect me to fix a problem I didn’t know about?   As he struggled to form a complete sentence in rebuttal I was reminded of the speech I give to new pilots when I hire them to fly jumpers at my skydiving school, Skydive Twin Cities.  One of the first things I tell them is to let me know immediately about any maintenance problems they encounter when flying my aircraft.    All too often when discovering some minor discrepancy instead of bringing it to my attention the pilot would proceed to bitch behind my back to the other pilots,  probably calling me a cheap S.O.B. for not fixing the problems and putting their very lives in danger.  When the pilot can no longer stand to fly such a poorly maintained aircraft they screw up their courage and demand that I have the problem fixed.  That’s the point where they find out that I haven’t flown that particular aircraft in weeks and had no idea there was an issue and then they got to hear my speech again.    Pilots are so hard to train.

“Squawks” are problems noted by U. S. Air Force pilots
and left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by those Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P) = Problem

(S) = Solution

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

(P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
(S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.

(P) # 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) # 2 propeller seepage normal – # 1, # 3, and # 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to more believable level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold model produces a 200 fpm descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
(S) That’s what they’re there for.

(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, “fly right,” and be serious.

(P) Target Radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with words

 

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